How Team 7 Saved Christmas
by Kitsune Freak
Summary: Essentially what the title suggests. It will only hint at stuff no romance AT ALL, ok maybe hints but nothing bad. Rated T for safety.
1. The Beginning of the End

KitsuneFreak: Hiya! This is my second fic. Forgive me if I kind of deserted the first story called Random Envy Drabbles. I just didn't get anymore light bulb moments so essentially no ideas popped up.

Kakashi: I feel so, awkward to be in this…. I mean. Santa Claus?

KitsuneFreak: Don't blame me! It just popped in my head when I was on the car.

Kakashi: But still… :sits in corner & thinks:

KitsuneFreak (K/F): Oh well. Naruto, do the disclaimer, kay? And the Badger, Badger theme will be the story break.

Naruto: Kay! K/F (a.k.a. Valerie/Subaru) does not own Naruto, blah, blah, blah.

K/F: Uh Naruto, the point was to tell them that I don't own all this stuff WITHOUT telling them my real name/xanga name. Grr….

Naruto: ON WITH THE STORY: whispers to K/F: Where's my ramen?

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

One fine day in December, at the Hokage's tower one particular Godaime snored all her worries away. That is, until a certain _youthful_ shinobi dropped by to deliver an urgent message.

"Tsunade-sama! I have an urgent message to deliver. It's from Sa-" the youthful Gai started but noticed that the Hokage was ASLEEP behind a HUGE pile of paperwork.

"Tsunade-sama? WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY!"

Toppling over from her tranquil position Tsunade was enraged at Gai to interrupt her moment of peace. Standing up to her full height she cracked her knuckles. (Imagine chibi Gai with a very mad Godaime)

"What is _so_ important that you _dare_ interrupt me in my slumber?" growled Tsunade, preparing to make mincemeat out of Mr. Youth.

"I found this letter and it's from SANTA! He's requesting a …"

-LATER THAT DAY-

"Now I hope you all understand why I called you all here" Tsunade said.

"To give us a mission no doubt?" Sasuke drawled.

"Yes but it's not a regular mission. I'm giving you an A ranked mission because it's very dangerous and may taint your innocent minds…..Yes, you too Kakashi. Reading Icha Icha Paradise is nothing compared to what I'm about to assign you."

"What's the mission? Tell us! Tell us!" Naruto said as fast as Sonic with a hedgehog attached to his rear. (In other words, Sonic would feel pain so he would run fast…and that's as fast as Naruto's speech)

"Your mission is to save Christmas." Tsunade said with the most serious look on her face as she could muster. All of Team 7 then proceeded with a mighty face-fault.

_Flashback_:

"Are you serious that this letter is from Santa. Like the Santa Clause? Not some kind of joke?"

"How can you say that such a _youthful_ man like Santa is a joke!" Gai gasped.

"No, I'm just saying that no matter who we give this mission to it's going to be hard to get it through their heads."

"But we MUST save Christmas!" Gai yelled flailing his arms around.

"The only thing that I can't understand is that Santa Clause suddenly got the flu… shouldn't he be immune or something?" This comment was received with a mere shrug.

_End Flashback_

"Santa exists? I thought it was just a silly story." Sakura wondered.

"This has got to be a joke." The raven-haired Uchiha said.

"YATTA!" Naruto yelled.

"Hmmmm….maybe I can ask Santa for a copy of (insert you-know-what)" Kakashi thought.

"Just wait a moment before you get all excited. I have to assign your positions."

"EH!"

"Kakashi, you and Jiraiya will pose as Santa just because. You two will switch whenever one gets tired. Sasuke & Naruto will pose as the happy (K/F: Uh oh…) elf that accompanies Santa. Sakura, you drive the sleigh. "

"Happy elf?" Sasuke twitched.

"Ya, you know those little midget guys in green?" Tsunade said causing Sasuke to twitch even more.

"Are you implying that I'm a midget?"

"No, but look on the bright side Naruto's one too."

"…" said Sasuke.

"So Kakashi, make sure you don't fail alright? Kakashi? Kakashi? Hey, where are you?" Moments later, they found Kakashi hiding in a tree, reading Icha Icha Paradise, AND muttering to himself. It sounded more like a whine with these following words: **What** **do you mean that I have to be Santa. He's such a gushy happy person…..like…like…GAI! ARGH THE AGONY! BUT! I must regain my composure, I mean like what if they blackmail me? Wait….I'm a jounin and was part of ANBU. I'm stronger than them all!**

Sadly for Kakashi, his entire team plus Tsunade had heard his little pep talk. However, they were nice people and just to humor him they pretended that they had no idea what he was talking about.

And so Team 7 and Jiraiya set off for the North Pole where they had to talk to those cheery little elves. Sakura had to force _all_ the men to wear their respective outfits. Actually, with the help of Sandaime's magical crystal ball Tsunade found out about their unwilling-ness and sent ANBU after them just to make them wear costumes. That was followed by one hour of the ANBU members laughing their heads off at the former ANBU member who had to wear a jolly old Santa costume. Poor Kakashi.

"Um, Kakashi-sensei, I think Santa's supposed to be fat…." Naruto stated.

"Okay, I will ONLY tolerate wearing this Santa costume NOTHING ELSE!" (K/F: Sorry I can't imagine Kakashi as Santa…because: 1. It's horrifying 2. It'll give me the heebie-jeebies and 3. It's just wrong.)

One hundred trillion, billion, zillion presents later (Ok, maybe not that many) Team 7 and Jiraiya managed to get back to Konoha safe and sound. To be exact, the minute that they stepped on Konohan territory they collapsed on the ground in a heap.

"Tired….Back…pain……owwie….." Kakashi cried.

"The…horror…of happy…..elves." Sasuke gasped.

"I hate…doing…..back flips…." Naruto complained.

"I'm…never…under….estimating….Santa's….job…ever….again" Jiraiya finished.

And so, with the help of Team 7 and Jiraiya Christmas was saved. Not to mention that Konoha received a nice paycheck from Santa after he got better from his…..cold.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

K/F: Okay. So how was it? It's a second story I know but still. I think that it's okay. If you guys want me to describe in detail what happened during the trip to all the 5 shinobi villages then in your review please tell me. If you want me to then there's a high chance that the Sand siblings, Akatsuki members, and other people will be in it.

Sasuke: I wonder what Itachi wanted for Christmas.

Naruto: You? Dead?

Sakura: LE GASP! How dare you say that to Sasuke-kun!

K/F: Come to think of it, where's Kakashi?

Kakashi: …… -unconscious-

K/F: How come he's still unconscious? You guys are alright.

Sasuke: Let's just say that Jiraiya accidentally summoned Gama Bunta.

K/F: O.o Err……….I just don't want to know.

Sakura: Wise decision.

K/F: Oh well so review and tell me if you want the details of the Christmas journey all spelled out for you! Ja Ne!


	2. Trip to Water Country!

K/F: It's me again and I'm back with another chapter. This is going to dictate Team 7 (and Jiraiya's) trip to Water Country! No, Zabuza and Haku isn't here but Akatsuki sure is!

Kakashi: Will I have to fight Itachi?

K/F: I don't know.

Naruto: I have to do back flips right?

Sakura: If you guys keep on asking these questions then the reader would know everything. Think before asking will you?

K & N: Oh…

K/F: Oi vay. Sakura, do the disclaimer since you're the smart one here.

Everyone: HEY!

Sakura: K/F doesn't own Naruto.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

We now travel back in time to show you everything that happened when our heroes took the A ranked mission to save Christmas…

"I am SO NOT wearing that stupid little green midget costume!" Sasuke cried with indignation.

"What are ya? Scared?" Naruto said.

"Naruto, don't say that to Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled giving the blonde a smack. "If you don't wear the costumes, be aware that Tsunade-sama will demote us to Academy Students or give is D ranked missions for the rest of our shinobi career! Which is worse? Costume or Demotion?"

"Costume," both replied.

"Oh boy… This will take a long time."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Kakashi wasn't too happy about getting into his costume either but he tried to look like he didn't care at all. However, the clever Sannin, also known as Jiraiya, saw right through, but to humor him, he pretended as though he had no idea what he was talking about.

"Why, out of all the people in Konoha, am _I_ chosen to be Santa? Why not Gai? He's happy, bubbly and he even has a little green elf accompanying him! Oh wait, that's Lee." Kakashi cried. If he wasn't so cool, he would have already been bawling and in tears.

"Aw, cheer up Kakashi! It's only for 86,400 seconds, 1440 minutes, 24 hours, or a day long. Take your pick." Jiraiya offered. (K/F: If I miscalculated tell me. I'm supposed to be GOOD at math.)

"The one day option sounds much nicer."

"Good choice. You had better get into that costume of yours or else we'll be late for Christmas presenting."

"I don't wanna." Kakashi pouted. (K/F: O.o)

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei can you hurry up and wear your costume so I can prove to those two that wearing elf costumes isn't that bad?"

"How about… No."

"But, if **you** don't and **they** don't then we'll ALL be demoted for sure! I don't want to go back to those horrifying D ranked missions! I still have nightmares about our first one. Rescuing Tora the cat…" Sakura shuddered at the thought.

Amazingly, just at that moment Tsunade had sent a whole hoard of ANBU members to threaten them into wearing those happy costumes. Kakashi and Sasuke considered using the Sharingan eye to copy their every move, intimidate them, and somehow hypnotize them into doing their work for them. It didn't work because the Sharingan required eye contact but all the ANBU were wearing masks. Poor Team 7.

"Hey Sasuke, don't show your face to any little kids in that costume, ok?" Naruto said.

"If I was going to show my face then I would ask 'why not'."

"Well……err….because…..frankly speaking; you look like a hit man elf."

"…"

Afterwards they checked up on the reindeer and they found out another horrifying thing. Since Santa was sick, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph all ran away. OH NO! But Kakashi saved the day. He summoned all his 'cute little nin dogs' to pull the sleigh. Pakkun was Rudolph and to make it more realistic they stuck a red clown nose on his nose. Only Yondaime knows how they kept it flying in the sky.

"Okay, first stop is at the Mizukage's house. Whose turn is it?" Jiraiya asked.

"Whoever loses on a game of rock, paper, scissors?" Naruto offered.

"Fine."

"Rock. Paper. Scissors!" Both men revealed their hands. Kakashi had a paper sign while Jiraiya had scissors.

"So does that mean I have to deliver the presents for everyone in the Water country?" Kakashi asked.

"Just to be nice, you take the first half and I'll take the next."

"Okay, so what does he want again?"

"It says here that the Mizukage wants … AN AQUARIUM WITH GOLDFISH IN IT!" Sakura replied. Mass sweatdropping continued.

Kakashi's first half of the delivering presents went fairly well. The only thing that happened was that Inari woke up to answer the call of nature, while Kakashi was putting the presents and, after answering the call, he wondered why Santa looked like Naruto's sensei. Now it was Jiraiya's turn to be Santa. Unbeknownst to them is the fact that one of the Akatsuki members snuck back home to privately celebrate the coming Christmas.

"We are now heading to Kisame's house. What kind of a person would be named Kisame anyway?" Sakura said.

"You mean the fish dude is here! He's one of the 7 shinobi swordsman and an Akatsuki member too!"

What they all saw when they peeked through the window was very mind boggling. Itachi was there with Kisame but the odd thing was that Itachi was wearing funky glasses and Kisame was holding up two fingers.

"Itachi, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"3?"

"You need work on that. Anyway, I must get back to my practicing."

"Oh god not _that_ again…"

"Ahem…" Kisame cleared his throat and began singing to some weird song he made up while hugging a fish plushie.

"I **love** my fishies 'cause they're _sooooo_ delicious!" Outside, Team 7 was frantically looking for earplugs.

"Kisame, I'm just going to go to bed now. You're being annoying."

"Itachi, how can you saw that! You need to appreciate good singing!"

"Whatever."

When all the lights were turned off, Jiraiya delivered the presents. Kisame wanted 5 different fish plushies and Itachi wanted a yo-yo, a ping-pong ball, and a mirror. Sasuke made an attempt to murder Itachi in his sleep. Naruto and Sakura tried to reason with him that it was beneath him to kill an enemy in their sleep. That didn't work. What did work was the fact that Itachi sleepwalks, or rather sleep fights, and beat Sasuke up. Naruto wanted to steal Kisame's sword so he back flipped into the room, but was scared away because he found out shortly after he entered the room that Kisame sleeps with his eyes open and sleep sings. He was singing that fish song he made up. Sakura just wanted to see who was in the next room so she went in and saw Deidara. He was sleep dancing…She was stunned and blinded for the next five minutes. Naruto temporarily became deaf and couldn't hear Sakura's angry comments about 'not killing people on Christmas'. Stupid little Naruto just thought that Sakura was exclaiming her love for him. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

During that leg of the trip Team 7 and Jiraiya learned a very important lesson. Several lessons actually.

1. Never listen to Kisame sing.  
2. Itachi sleep walks/fights.  
3. When one occupant in the room has a sleeping issue, so does the other.  
4. The Akatsuki has the 3 Sleep Syndrome.  
5. The 3 Sleep Syndrome is when three associates/friends sleep walk, talk, and dance.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

K/F: Okay. We're all done for this chapter. Next up is Konoha!

Sasuke: Why didn't you do Konoha first? Wouldn't it be easier?

K/F: I couldn't do that. First's the worst and second's the best!

Sasuke: You believe in that a petty child's game. How I pity you.

Naruto: Well you don't so that why you're the child.

Sasuke: Shut up loser.

Naruto: What was that? –prepares for a fight-

Sasuke: Dumb and deaf. I pity you too.

Sakura: Alright you guys, break it up….before someone gets the wrong idea.

K/F: You mean-

Sakura: Yes, exactly.

K/F: -gasp- Anyway, review please and help me get some ideas. Here's a preview of what's going to happen next.

"_On the first day of Christmas I murdered Santa Claus!" Gai wailed pitifully in the bathroom._

"_Gai, don't worry, I just talked to Santa. He said 'ho ho h-'." Neji began acting and making sounds like he had a heart attack. Tenten promptly smacked him and told him to knock it off._


	3. Commercial Break! Sorry

K/F: Ai, I'm so sorry! Gomenasai! I have written down the third chapter but it's on the other computer and I didn't exactly memorize all 5 pages on Microsoft word!

Naruto: Then why are you bothering to type this up know?

K/F: -punches Naruto- Baka! Because this is a mini-sode.

Sakura: Like an episode?

K/F: Kinda. Think of it as a commercial break. Literally!

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Commercial 1:

_We see Naruto holding up this thing that looks like a bad cross between a shuriken and kunai knife._

Naruto: Ever have problem with you cooking? Or stirring you coffee? Then go buy **THIS** today!

Sakura: You can use it for stirring your food. Fixing your fence or just show it off to all your friends! (_We see Sasuke and Sakura gazing at _**THIS**)

Sasuke: Yeah, and if you call within the next 30 minutes we'll send you **_THAT_** absolutely free! (_Product looks like a scroll w/ Uchiha fans all over it_)

Naruto: It's perfect if you want to give it to your friends as a gift or keep it for your own use. We don't know what it's for but you can have it if you call within the next 30 minutes!

Sakura: But wait there's more! If you call within the next **10** minutes we'll send you **_THE OTHER THING_** all absolutely free. (_it looks like a sword w/ a cherry blossom design_)

Naruto: The whole thing is just 19.95 ryo! Wow, isn't that the greatest offer ever?

Sasuke: Just remember, call within the next 10 minutes and you'll get **THIS**, **_THAT_**,****and **_THE OTHER THING_** all for just 19.95!

Naruto: Order now!

Commercial 2:

_You see Kurenai, Gai, Kakashi, and Asuma all huddled over a vacuum…_

Kurenai: Wow, it's so silent.

Kakashi: It's as stealthy as an S-class ninja.

Asuma: Yeah, and it cleans up the smell of cigarettes too.

Gai: IT'S DA SUCKER! -points to vacuum-

Kurenai: Da sucker is really amazing! It cleans up everything in it's way.

Kakashi: It can go on carpets and tile but not make a single noise…-whispers-…unlike Gai.

Gai: Advance into the SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH and buy DA SUCKER today!

Asuma: If you order Da Sucker then we'll send you a month's supply of disposable cups just because it has nothing to do with the product!

Kurenai: It's only 200 ryo!

Gai: Now get up and feel the YOUTH flowing through your veins and go to the nearest store and get DA SUCKER! -nice guy pose & teeth shine-

Commercial 3:

_Chouji is standing in front of a salad bar along w/ Ino and Shikamaru…_

Shikamaru: Ever find regular salad bars so troublesome?

Ino: Just like Shikamaru? -Shika glares at her-

Chouji: Then come to Chouji's Eat-o-Rama

Ino: Everything here is supervised by the fa- I mean Chouji himself!

Chouji: And the flowers used to decorate the restaurant come from none other than Ino's flower shop!

Shikamaru: -bored voice- And everything here is tasty too…-sigh-…so troublesome.

Chouji & Ino: Come on over now to satisfy all your hungry needs!

Commercial 4:

_You hear background music to 'Little Shop of Horrors'…_

Sakura: _What IS that strange and interesting plant in the window?_

Naruto: Hi my name is Naruto and I work at the Yamanka's Flower Shop. Although I'd never admit it I am a poor lonely guy who's in love with the other employee of Ino Yamanka who is Hinata. But ever since I found this plant which I named Hinata 2 everything's going crazy!

Hinata: N-naruto has to feed this plant with his own blood to keep it growing and later it even ate the boss, Ino Yamanka!

Naruto: Yeah but I also need to get rid of that crazy dentist whose courting Hinata. -points to Gai w/ shining teeth-

Ino: Follow the story of a singing plant, a daring hero, a sweet girl, and a demented dentist! In Yamanka's Shop of Horrors!

Commercial 5:

_You see Naruto doing his Sexy No Jutsu…_

Iruka: Have you ever been flashed with the Sexy no Jutsu by your friends or students.

Jiraiya: Well, we can't help you, but we can sure sell you a nice box of tissues to stop your constant nose bleeding.

Ebisu: Buy 10 boxes of tissues and we'll give you another box absolutely free.

Iruka: Buy 20 boxes and not only will we give you that one free box but we'll also send you a pair of shades just like the closest- I mean Ebisu's.

Jiraiya: We are very sorry that we can't help you with this…problem -cough- asset -cough- but we can sure help you stop that nose bleed. -cheesy thumbs up with big eyes.-

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

K/F: Okay, now that I got that over with I'll post up the real chapter three tonight! I promise!

Sasuke: Oh joy……

Naruto: Yatta!

Sakura: Why is the next chapter called Aloha Konaha?

K/F: Because that it's Naruto's fault.

Naruto: I feel so special.

K/F: Why?

Naruto: Because I feel so special.

Everyone: O.o;

K/F: R&R!


	4. Aloha Konoha!

K/F: Okies, I'm back with Chappie 3! Isn't that awesome? (See? I kept my promise!)

Naruto: By whose standards?

K/F: -slaps forehead- It was a rhetorical question.

Naruto: What's that?

Sakura: It's when she asks a question and you don't answer.

Gai: When in YOUTH do as the YOUTHFUL do!

Every other sane person: -sweatdrop-

Gai: K/F doesn't Naruto! -nice guy pose-

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Continuing on the dangerous mission from Water Country Team 7 (K/F: I will include Jiraiya in the word Team 7 because I'm too lazy to type) headed off to Konoha!

"Okay, everybody say it now: Aloha Konoha!" Naruto screamed.

"Will you SHUT UP? I can't even hear myself THINK!" Jiraiya yelled.

"That's not my problem, pervert!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Sakura, could you please tell us what house we're headed off to next" Kakashi said, hoping to change the subject.

"Hmm, it says here that the next house we'll be going to is… the Hyuuga's" replied Sakura.

"Kakashi it's your turn."

"If I was sure that I wasn't going to get beat up then I'd say 'I hate you.'..."

When they landed the sleigh snug as a bug in a rug on top of the roof, Kakashi, along with Sasuke the elf went in through the front door. They didn't use the chimney because, even though Naruto tried it, the two Sharingan users refused thinking that the chimney was rigged. The Hyuuga's, being the paranoid people they were; booby trapped the whole front door and hall with flying arrows, falling pebbles, and whole bunch of other scary stuff. One of the scariest contraptions was a weird hand thingy that chucked a pie at the intruders face. Naruto was just on the other side of the hall with a triumphant look on his face. He took the chimney and came out unscathed.

"Man, what the heck is Hyuuga Hiashi afraid of to booby trap everything?" Kakashi panted. He barely escaped the wrath of the pie throwing thing.

"From what I remember, he was afraid of Neji." Naruto answered.

"If the point is to make sure that Neji doesn't slaughter them all in their sleep, isn't it a LOT smarter to just booby trap _Neji's_ _door_?" Sasuke retorted. He received tentative glances and shrugs which made Sasuke very mad.

They made their way slowly into Hiashi's room using their awesome ninja techniques to not get a pie in the face. Naruto wanted to be cool so he caught 2 pies to bring back up to Sakura. One pie barely hit Kakashi and Sasuke devoured a small flying tart as it came his way. If Sakura was there then she probably would have a pie on her face from gazing a Sasuke. In the room they dumped Hiashi's presents that included some weird thing which was obviously a part for a complex booby trap. Next they made their way into Hinata and her sister's room. There they dropped off 12 pairs of earrings, some lip gloss, and a can of pepper spray (to use against Neji). Everything went ok and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Finally they came to Neji's room. He had just fallen asleep not too long ago because he was being kept awake by the racket of flying pies. Tiptoeing to the foot of his bed they deposited the carefully wrapped hair supplies (shampoo, condition, soap, etc.). Then, out of nowhere a HUMONGOUS teddy bear came flying at them! Was it another booby trap? Had Hiashi become smart to booby trap Neji's room itself? NO! It was………..Neji throwing the teddy bear that he had used as a pillow. PHEW! Everyone let out a sigh of relief…until…..Neji muttered something about revenge against the Main House. As fast as lightning all three ran up the chimney using their chakra, fearing Round 2 with the evil pie throwing things. Technically it would be Round 1 for Naruto.

"Phew, so much for an easy mission and here Sakura" Naruto said while handing Sakura the pies.

"It's amazing how the Hyuuga's utilize everything so that they can become weapons" Kakashi commented while wiping off a speck of pie.

"I am so scarred," Sasuke thought.

"Okay! Next is the Aburame household and sadly Ino-pig, and Tenten live nearby so we can deliver the presents all together," Sakura started.

Nothing much happened on those three deliveries. Shino and his dad wanted a big sand castle made of rock so they could keep their precious bugs in it. Ino wanted a Sasuke plushie which caused Sasuke to twitch and Sakura just slapped Ino when she muttered Sasuke in her sleep. Ino slept like a log. Tenten wanted some new weapons. Naruto just thought that it was cool to waste time and do annoying back flips that always somehow managed to topple something and Sasuke had to go matrix style and catch the falling object. That was it. Nothing much happened until they had to deliver stuff to Gai's place. What Team 7 didn't know was that Gai and Lee were still awake planning on capturing Santa. Apparently Gai suddenly had forgotten about that 'Santa got sick' incident.

"No matter what the reason I will not deliver anything for Gai," Kakashi said his foot planted firmly in sleigh.

"Can I move you by getting you an Icha Icha book?" Sakura asked.

"No."

"Whoa, now that's a new one…" Sasuke thought.

"Oi! Pervy-san it's your turn now." Naruto called.

"Don't call me that darnit!" Jiraiya yelled and he descended down the chimney with the elves.

"Hear that Lee?" Gai said.

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Lee said.

"Remember the plan Lee, the minute you see him, we jump out and grab him."

"Yes and then we can pull him to join us in youthful parading!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!" (K/F: O.o)

Right at that moment Jiraiya dropped to the bottom of the chimney and headed for the Christmas tree since he too secretly feared the youthful-ness of Lee and Gai. Lee & Gai were so busy doing the hugging thing while tears were streaming down their face they realized 'Santa' was about to leave. Then Gai ran up to Jiraiya and gave him a killer death hug by the neck. Poor Jiraiya lost much needed air and Sasuke already chakra-walked up the chimney leaving behind the elf hat. Naruto was about to go but his conscience got the better of him so he grabbed a really large cane and dragged the unconscious form of Jiraiya up the chimney to the roof leaving poor Gai devastated.

"Oh no! Santa's dead! Waaaah!" Gai cried.

"No Gai-sensei, he was just… just….resting?" Lee tried. But it was no use. Gai started crying uncontrollably and ran into the bathroom like a sissy. As fast as he could, Lee ran all the way to Tenten and Neji's houses, woke them up from their sleep, and called them to Gai's place claiming that there was an emergency.

_About 30 minutes later in the living room... _

"I can't believe you called us over in the middle of the night to try and get Gai-sensei out of the bathroom!" Neji exclaimed.

"Don't say that!" Lee said attempting to slap Neji but he dodged the blow.

"Well, being stuck in the bathroom isn't exactly a good thing you know." Tenten said. Meanwhile you can hear Gai's voice in the bathroom really loudly and off-key too.

"_JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAAAAAAAAY! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

At this horrendous noise Neji finally gave in, "Okay fine, I'll help you guys get him out of the bathroom but after that I'm going home." With that they walked over to the bathroom hoping to quell the sadness that was Gai.

"Gai don't worry Santa's alright. He was just……resting." Tenten tried. No luck but the singing did get louder.

"Gai-sensei if you come out then I promise that I will run 500 laps around Konoha with you!" Lee tried. No luck.

"Psst! Lee, go get something to bribe Gai out. Careful what you get because the minute you offer the thing to him he will grab it out just like that. Neji and I will try to help in the time being."

"Good idea Tenten! I'm off!" and with that Lee went off to find some….err…spandex.

"_ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS I MURDERED SANTA CLAUSE!"_ Gai wailed pitifully in the bathroom.

"Gai, don't worry, I just talked to Santa. He said 'ho ho h-'." Neji began acting and making sounds like he had a heart attack. Tenten promptly smacked him and told him to knock it off while trying to control her own set of giggles. It was just too funny. Then Lee came back with some spandex, teddy bears, and other stuff.

"Here I got it!"

"Okay we'll start with the spandex first. Uh, Gai-sensei, if you come out then I'll give you that green spandex you always wanted," Tenten said. She held the spandex at the door and a hand shot out from inside, grabbed the spandex and the door was locked again.

"So that didn't work, Gai-sensei if you come out then I'll give you this really special teddy bear I found" Neji hollered at the door. He held the teddy bear at the door, a hand came out, grabbed Teddy, and the door was locked….AGAIN……

"Oh boy, I guess this will take some time," Tenten sighed scratching the back of her head.

"Don't worry, with the SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH by our side then we will prevail!" When Lee said that, sweatdrops managed to formulate on Neji and Tenten.

_Meanwhile back with Team 7:_

"You think he's going to be okay?" Sakura asked worry written on her face.

"I'm not sure. Don't forget that we splashed a bucket of ice on him since we didn't have water," Sasuke said.

"Yeah, and Sasuke even tried punching him awake, too" Kakashi said.

"Well there's one way to wake him up." Naruto said, "HEY PERVY-SAN GET UP WE'RE GOING TO THE BATH HOUSE NOW!"

"What? Where!" All the signs that would say Jiraiya is knocked out disappeared since they were being replaced by perverti-ness. "Hey, you lied."

"Wasn't my fault you began sleeping like an old hag." Naruto retorted.

"Say that to my face you moron!"

"I just did."

This brawl continued forever so that they couldn't deliver their presents….No I'm just kidding. That would be boring. But Shikamaru asked for non-troublesome things (like a new pair of shoes), Chouji asked for chips, and Kiba asked for dog food (K/F: -blinks-). Kurenai had genjutsu-fied her house so that it was like one huge maze but they got the cargo there safe and sound. It was new uniform that actually had _two_ red sleeves so that she wasn't symmetrically challenged. Asuma's place stunk like cigarettes and he got an ashtray. Nothing unusual here but Sasuke did comment that one day Asuma's going to get cancer. And so that leaves us with Tsunade.

"Why don't we all just go in to deliver the Hokage's gift, huh?" Kakashi said. He secretly feared the wrath of Tsunade.

"Yeah, that's much better than sitting all night. My butt's hurting." Sakura complained. All the males just winced at her rear comment.

"Okay then, let's all visit that old hag. She's probably snoring over sake." Jiraiya said.

And so they all paraded into Tsunade's room to find her ASLEEP once again over her paperwork.

"Sshhh we have to be very-" Sakura started but then the slug princess awoke with a start.

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII! Jiraiya you pervert! Can't you stop peeping for Yondaime's sake?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" They all yelled and dropped the present (err… sake) and ran back away to the sleigh running/riding all the way to Suna.

And Team 7 learned more rules:

1. Tsunade is scary.  
2. Hiashi Hyuuga is paranoid.  
3. Kakashi and Gai will never get along, not even for Christmas.  
4. Booby trap pies from the Hyuuga's are very tasty.  
5. Never walk into a genjutsu-fied house or else you will get dizzy.  
6. Asuma's house stinks.  
7. Tsunade doesn't get her paperwork done.  
8. Sitting in a sleigh all night makes your rear hurt.  
9. Jiraiya is a pervert.  
10. There are times when even Kakashi refuses Icha Icha.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

K/F: Okay, there we go! Can any of you guys out there give me some ideas? I'm really running low on ideas! Oh and am I losing on the funniness? I freak out when I lose my comedy.

Naruto: Yeah you got that right.

K/F: Naruto fetch! -throws bowl of ramen-

Naruto: Arf! Arf! -runs into bushes-

Sasuke: Baka.

Sakura: -nods-

K/F: R&R! Please?


End file.
